Lost Soul Poetry

LOST SOUL is a collection of poems that encapsulates a deeply personal and tumultuous period of my life. Written over 25 years ago, when I was just 18 or 19 years old, these poems are a window into the struggles, heartache, and confusion that defined my early adulthood. They were penned during a time when I felt my life was stuck, mired in depression, anger, and frustration. Writing poetry became my only way to cope with the overwhelming emotions that I faced daily.

The poems in this collection are not arranged in chronological order, but I have chosen to include the dates when each was written to provide some context for my journey. This was a time when my feelings could change dramatically from one moment to the next, and these poems reflect the chaotic ebb and flow of my emotions.

A significant part of this emotional turmoil stemmed from a forbidden love. I fell deeply in love with a girl from a different cultural background—she was a British Indian, and I am a British Pakistani. Our relationship was fraught with tension due to the cultural and familial pressures that ultimately tore us apart. She was forced into an arranged marriage, and I was left to grapple with the aftermath of our separation alone. At such a young age, dealing with these intense experiences was incredibly challenging.

As you read these poems, I ask that you try to understand the depth of the pain, anger, and hopelessness that I felt during that time. This collection is more than just poetry—it is my story, my coping mechanism, and a testament to the resilience required to endure such hardship.

Thank you for taking the time to journey through these pages with me.

—Jaleel

So many tears.

6th Dec 2000

I craved and cried,

I've prayed and tried,

I've asked and begged,

I've pained and suffered,

I've screamed and yelled,

My knuckles I have battered, Sin em bleed bright red,

I've experienced shots of pain attack my head,

So many times I have lay there in bed ...

Wishing I was DEAD!